Day One

I know You know this is difficult for me. I would like to know You and receive Your Love and Guidance and the Guidance from My Angels.

At the beginning I did not feel worthy of Your Love or felt so terrible that I did not feel You in my life. Also I haven't been familiar with You and with Praying.

I know now that when I do not feel You and Your Love for me, it is only because I somehow cannot let it flow into me. So I would ask You to help me with this. I have the desire deep inside, this longing. I have always felt this longing, but until most recently have directed this longing towards the material world and to other humans. But I realize now that no thing and no human will fulfill this longing.

Maybe You could? When I say "maybe" it is not ignorance, it is just that it is very difficult for me to Trust and have Faith in You. So maybe You could help me with this also?

Praying seems to be really important to feel You and receive Your Love. Praying is not common to me. I have tried a few times, but it really feels strange and dishonest. I haven't been able to Pray with all my Heart.

Would You help me and show me a way to do that?

I hope it is okay if I just start by talking to You, and maybe I will try Praying from time to time. I hope You will forgive me, if my Prayer doesn't sound truly heartful - that will be my feeling of unworthiness and doubt. That is something I really want to heal in myself.

I know you are here for me, even if I cannot feel Divine Love! I guess it will come with practise.

I want also to talk to You about Passions and Desires. I want Passion and Desire to guide my way, so I may live a life in Joy. But I don't really feel that in my life. Do You have a plan for me? Did You create my Soul and if You did, did You also give me my Passions and Desires?

It is not that I leave it up to You to make me happy. I know I am responsible for my life, my development and my journey towards You, but I need Your Help and Guidance since I lost my way.

I do this with humility. I do this with self responsibility, knowing that I have my free will. I just really want to feel, what I want. Could You please help me with this?

LOVE ALWAYS,
Connie